Time again friend.

This website has sat unloved, and untended for a couple of years, and I think that it is time again to start it up again. Coronavirus has made every office realise that remote work is possible. In addition to devastating lives, this virus has turned our homes into workplaces, and made it impossible not to bring that work home (as if it ever really was).

The handling of the virus has been so different that countries are effectively judged on a leaderboard, and pitted against each other. 1,752 people have died in Ireland at the time of posting this. The effect of this is miserable, and likely to depress and frustrate us for a significant time to come, with  my favourite things like gigs, and pints with friends existing as a future dream.

Tim Harford’s excellent podcast Cautionary Tales, has an episode that sounds an ominous warning. Namely, what if the virus is the precursor to a larger event. And, you can listen to that joyful episode here.

Intentions.

Ok, lets consider that pandemic Elephant addressed. This isn’t about Covid-19. Rather, it’s about my intent to restart this website, and use this space to practice my writing. So, there will probably be a mix of shop talk around design, and likely, I will post about books, art, film, and music.

Just before I resume normal service, I’d like to briefly talk about why I stopped updating this website. So, I don’t know how much I will reveal to be honest, as it makes me feel uncomfortable and vulnerable. This low traffic website doesn’t generate a tonne of traffic, and I don’t see many people reading this.

Why now?

The most recent post on this site is from the 26th of October 2017. On November 1st, a friend passed away from cancer. This was the first time we’d lost someone within our friend group. She was my age, and I wasn’t sure how to deal with this at the time. I decided not to.

The week after my friends funeral, I interviewed for a role in Workday, and somehow got the job, that I began working in January 2018. Within two days, I started to bleed internally, and it was off to the Mater hospital, where I spent time in ICU. There I received several blood transfusions. The odds of me surviving were not great. My wife learned this at the time, but she internalised it. This is upsetting to think about the stress she had to deal with. Post trauma, I decided that the best thing to do would be to go straight back to work, and not deal with it at all in any way. As, I am smart.

Hooray for depression and anxiety.

Fast forward a few months, and things caught up with me. It was then that I started to feel like I was losing my mind. So after many years of never dealing with my feelings, cracks emerged in me. I didn’t know that I had feelings, and that feelings eventually bubble over. In summary, you can try to repress your feelings forever, but only if you are good with imploding.

Ironic symptoms.

My memory, and my ability to think clearly are things I lean on heavily. It got to the point where I was barely functional. I couldn’t remember anyones name. As a result, I struggled to be around people that I love. Instead I spent the time worried, anxious, and exhausted. A fun symptom of depression is that you lose the ability solve problems and make decisions.

Anyway, less of that grim business. Expect to read more about fun and nerdy things, and fewer posts about depression. I am not planning to monetise my mental health like Bressie just yet. I need to update this website technically. So do expect some live design changes, and I may even add images to posts. I know. Wild. Pictures on the internet are just the kind of disruptive thing you can expect in the future.